ATTENTION, MAGGOTS! FALL IN! You sorry lot thought that you could take a break from fighting the jackpot wars just because you know a thing or two about slot jackpots, eh? Hah! What a joke! ON THE GROUND AND GIVE ME TWENTY! You miserable little ladies have been here long enough to know that the jackpot wars never end! So what if you know a little bit about slots, big deal! You don’t stop learning how to run just because you know how to walk! There’s many more things you can know about slot jackpots, and even further, there’s plenty of things you can learn about non-slot jackpots! Take, for example, bingo jackpots. What, you didn’t even know that bingo had progressive jackpots?! You see, this is exactly the kind of crap that has sent you here, recruit! Not only are there bingo jackpots, but many of them match or even surpass those found in slots! Just look at this young lady who got £1.2 million from a bingo jackpot (only to then proceed to lose every penny, but the jackpot boot camp can only teach you how to win the jackpot, not what to do with it).
I know what you’re thinking, maggot – “Boy, geez, Drill Sergeant, just how exactly do I win myself a bingo jackpot too?” I DON’T CARE THAT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU WERE THINKING, WHILE YOU’RE HERE YOU’RE THINKING WHAT I SAY YOU’RE THINKING, GOT IT?! Anyway, because I’m so nice I’ll give you a few tips on how you can maximize your chance of scoring the big break while playing bingo. The first one might seem obvious, but verify that the bingo game in question has a progressive jackpot. It’s not always immediately obvious, and if you don’t see the words “Jackpot” displayed prominently somewhere, just assume that there isn’t one and move on. Bingo games with a progressive jackpot are a bit more expensive, since that extra money goes directly to the pot, but it’s a small price to pay for the chance of winning millions. And besides, there are ways to mitigate it entirely – look for bingo offers and bonuses online. As you know (and if you don’t, SHAME ON YOU, MAGGOT), bingo sites will often give you free money that you can spend on testing the various games out – for example, if you deposit £20, you get another £20 for free. The problem is, to prevent fraud, the second £20 doesn’t count as “real” money – instead, let’s call it play money. It can’t be withdrawn, and any amount you win with play money also gets converted to play money until you bet it and win it a set amount of times. However, if you happen to win the jackpot with play money, you still get to keep it as real money, no questions asked. Which is why it’s generally a very good idea to hunt for the best rated bingo offers online and exploit them whenever you can, since they pretty much give you a free shot at the big jackpot.
Armed with that information, you’ve got everything you need to go out there and win the jackpot war once and for all! HA! As if! The jackpot war never ends, soldier! You may win the battle, but the conflict rages on! Remember that the next time you’re striving for that elusive bingo jackpot! Now FORWARD MARCH, MAGGOTS! Go make your country (and your pockets) proud!